Their whole team is counterfeit

You’d think the Swiss would be careful to check they buy the real thing. I mean, they’ve got all those watches, all those luxury items, all that chocolate… And doubtless counterfeit objects are a problem for the Swiss economy. So how come Basel have 9 counterfeit players in their squad then? And quite poor counterfeit players what’s more!

Is Basel the poor man’s Barcelona?

I’ll start out with the harder to notice counterfeits, and finish with the obvious ones :

Koji Nakata is a poor counterfeit of Bolton and Fiorentina’s Hidetoshi Nakata. Somebody took advantage of the fact that Basel didn’t know that Hidetoshi had retired to sell them Koji. The difference however is notable, as Marseille supporters know, having been victims of the same problem, when they bought Koji Nakata instead of Hidetoshi.

Counterfeit quality rating : 8/10 - A great difference in level, but similarities in age, nationality and playing position have proved fooling enough.

Eduardo Adelino da Silva, a.k.a. “Eduardo” is a copy of Dinamo Zagreb and Arsenal’s Eduardo da Silva, a.k.a. “Eduardo”. Since nobody outside France knows what colour Toulouse play in, and nobody outside Belgium know what colour Charleroi play in, it seems obvious that Basel were lured into buying this disappointing player on videos of the real player in action.

Counterfeit quality rating : 7/10 - Almost perfect name similarity, position and age cover a goal ratio that is half that of the real deal, as well as physical differences.

Carlos Alberto Alves Garcia, a.k.a. “Carlitos” is probably a copy of Manchester United and West Ham player Carlos Tévez, a.k.a. “Carlitos”. Having heard of the shady negotiation problems between Kia Joorabchian and West Ham United, Basel staff weren’t surprised to see a man that presented him as “Mr. Joorabchian”, suspecting him to be in Switzerland to cover his shady dealings. When he offered them “his Carlitos”, they believed that it was Carlos Tevez. A short, low-quality video was shown to the directors, who agreed to conclude the transfer. Later that day, “Carlitos” arrived and penned the contract with Basel’s director, honoured to be in the presence of such a well-known player. Sadly, they read the following day that Carlos Tevez had been definitively transferred to Manchester United. And then, they noticed that “Carlitos” didn’t look much like Tevez, and didn’t play much like him either.

Counterfeit quality rating : 5/10 - Name, age and a (probably) shady transfer in the summer of 2007 left Basel with the wrong player in their team. Despite the massive difference in level, Carlitos has seeked redemption, putting in good games for Basel.

Daniel Majstorović, a copy of Inter Milan and Juventus’ Zlatan Ibrahimović. When seeking to strengthen their squad, Basel stumbled upon someone who seemed intent to sell them a Swedish international who had “origins in the balkans”. Not being fluent in Swedish nor in Serbian, the Basel directors only catched the end of the players name : “–ović”. As they seemed uncertain about the transfer, the man showed them a few pictures dating from 2001, when the player “rose to fame” with Malmö FF. The pictures showed a player that looked a lot like Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Basel’s directors made the move when they heard that the player in question was “dissapointed with his role in the team” and wanted “a new horizon”.

Counterfeit quality rating : 4/10 - Not much link the two… Ibrahimovic is Swedish of Bosian and Croatian parents, whilst Majstorovic has Serbian parents. What’s more, one is a defender, the other a striker, and there’s an obvious difference in level. Basel were fooled by the similar stature the two players have, and by slightly similar names and origins. At least they’ll remember to ask someone to repeat more slowly when they don’t understand.

Papa Malick Ba is, I think, a faulty version of Djurgarden and AC Milan’s Ibrahim Ba. Both are Senegalese, although the real Ba played for France during the warm-up to the World Cup 1998, yet not during the tournament proper for France. After a few decent seasons in the late 1990s, Ibrahim Ba dissapeared to relative obscurity. Thus Basel might have been fooled when they believed they had “found Ba” playing for Sfaxien in Tunisia.

Counterfeit quality rating : 4/10 - Since Ibrahim Ba dissapeared from the public eye, fake “Ibrahim Ba”s are a recurring problem. Yet this one doesn’t seem to have been particularly hard to pick out : 8 years younger, defensive midfielder instead of winger, and Senegalese international instead of French international.

Patrik Baumann, watered-down version of Werder Bremen’s Frank Baumann. Very impressive counterfeit player, probably used videos of the German 31 year-old to offload the 17 year-old Swiss. I think that Basel must have been very cotton-headed to buy a 17 year old player, and believe that he’s played over 200 games for Werder, 100 games for Nürnberg, has 28 caps for Germany and has been finalist in the 2002 World Cup…

Counterfeit quality rating : 2/10 - The name is the only thing that could confuse a manager between these two. The blame is on Basel for not seeing it wasn’t Frank but “Patrik”…

Fabian Frei is a copy of Swiss, Rennes and Dortmund hero Alexander Frei. To confuse players that are 10 years younger one another is hard, but it’s true that they have similar physiques. Not much to say, because it is a good counterfeit otherwise, albeit a strong dip in level, experience and other related characteristics.

Counterfeit quality rating : 2/10 - It would have been 4 or 5, but Basel are Swiss and Frei is a Swiss hero. Lucky that they didn’t see through it.

Reto Zanni looked like he was a real player, albeit of relatively poor level, until I discovered he was a replica of Alessandro Zanni… A player for Calvisano and the Italian national rugby team… This is a shocking counterfeit that could be dangerous for other players. How Basel didn’t see this one is out of my reach.

Counterfeit quality rating : 1/10 - I think Basel knew this was a counterfeit player, and wanted a bit more “tackle” in their side.

The last counterfeit player I found was Bejamin Huggel, an overtly obvious bastardisation of Georg Hegel. With almost 200 years between their birth dates, I think Basel must have bought just by hearing the name, without looking or asking for any precisions.

Counterfeit quality rating : 0/10 - Basel will sure have to hope that they achieve self-awareness before playing against Rennes if they want to win.

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